Xeeker's Breaking Free Plan

[Xeeker]

So I went back and looked at Ruf's list:

I think I'm at this point:
Red = Done
Eliminate ineffective nice guy behaviors and replace them with health male behaviors
- Continue with the the No More Mr. Nice Guy Breaking Free-s -- Going to pick these back up tonight
- Read Dr. Glover's articles on Setting the tone and Taking the Lead and
- Read Brohamb's Breaking Free thread, an example of a guy who has held of dating until he worked through his issues, and now having some better luck with dating than other guys. He didn't have his first date until 20 and is now 22 .
- Read Way of the Superior Man by David Deida about what it is to be a man --will pick this up this weekend
- Read Dr. Glover's article on Stop Being the Safe Guy
- develop your hobbies and passions more - Starting Guitar lessons on Tuesday
- lift weights if you don't already

[Brohamb]

Nobody can really tell if you're ready. But you've got a better chance if you follow this plan. Ruf has been a very active member here and takes a very methodical approach to this. He's seen dozens of members just like you do this same thing and many of them come crawling back with horror stories.

Personally, I don't care what you do at this point. We're here for guidance, but a man's got to make his own choices and his own mistakes. Whatever happens--keep posting.

Here are a few warning signs that I spot out of your posts:

I honestly didn't think that this would bug me as much as it is....

Why does it bug you so much? You are seeking our approval. Do this for you. Not the women--not us. Don't deny it--you come here for approval. What gives you the best chance of living the best/happiest life possible? <--answer this question for me.

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The conversation you had with your father was immature at best. However--I had similar conversations at the same time in my recovery so it is normal to go too far in the other direction and say some really screwed up stuff. There's a finesse in being confident/cocky that takes a while to perfect. I recommend you work on this before you start dating. I gained a lot of skill in this area while on my dating moratorium. It was the first time I could talk to a woman without attachment to outcome because I knew I couldn't date them. YOU NEED THIS STEP TO MOVE FORWARD!

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Trust me man, I followed most of the stuff on Ruf's action plan and probably influenced quite a bit of it. I see purpose in it--I was in your shoes 7 months ago and remember my steps quite vividly.