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Old May 26th, 2012, 09:50 PM
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Should I let this person "help" me.

There's a guy I know who could potentially help me make some progress in my life in the material way. He is a very successful restauranteur and has nice lots of "stuff" things like a beautiful house, cars, wife, kids and material things that I don't particularly care for. I actually thing all this shit causes a lot of suffering in the world through shallowness and only wanting a nice little life for yourself and enlarging your ego. My whole purpose in life is freedom, creativity, to not being tied down to anything. I want travel, adventure and beauty where he seems all about accumulating toys to try and impress people that don't care him. But I do need some help from someone in creating an action plan in my life and getting out of debt. I have great ideas but I'm not much of a doer.

In saying that I think he a lot of good qualities he's very generous and has a big heart but he reminds me exactly of my best friend I had in high school who I had a falling out with because he always had to be in control of everything and everyone and I'm not sure I can deal with people like that these days. I tried to say something to him once and he got really defensive, it was like sorry I forgot you're the big man with all the nice stuff I know nothing about life I'm just some hippy dippy creative type I've meet a few of these type of guys and they're all the same under the charm and charisma it's about power and control of other people.

I don't mind swallowing my pride and admitting my flaws, weaknesses and that I help but only if the other person is willing to do the same with me. Any thoughts?

Last edited by Touch The Clouds; May 26th, 2012 at 10:01 PM..
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  #2  
Old May 26th, 2012, 10:57 PM
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I'd let him help you.

Money could probably give you most of what you are after.
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Old May 27th, 2012, 12:59 AM
GWS GWS is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Touch The Clouds View Post
In saying that I think he a lot of good qualities he's very generous and has a big heart but he reminds me exactly of my best friend I had in high school who I had a falling out with because he always had to be in control of everything and everyone and I'm not sure I can deal with people like that these days.
I'd keep looking for someone that I respect and who would respect me as well. He may be able to help you, but at what cost?
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Old May 27th, 2012, 01:37 AM
The Renegade The Renegade is offline
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Let him help you. Just because he's different doesn't mean you don't get along.

Just one thing: Make sure you know what you give in return. Don't owe him. Then you should be fine.
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Old May 27th, 2012, 01:12 PM
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maybe I missed it but what is he going to help you with???

Being successful is not something to be ashamed of by the way.

maybe you feel the wrath of some of these people because you might come across to them as having envy but hiding under some higher goal in life.

some people with money are jerks so are some guys that sweep the floor.

By the way I don't need to buy a lot of toys to be happy and I don't give a shit about what people might think of my car, its a good car, its clean and its 8 years old and I have no problem driving it. I don't need that BMW to show I can pay for one.

So what is he is going to do for you and what will you gain from it?
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Old May 27th, 2012, 03:23 PM
pheonix pheonix is offline
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I say let him help you with your action plan. And although your both different people with differant priorities that doesn't mean that you can't watch and make not of what it is about his personality that makes him a sucsess and embody those parts into who you are.
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Old May 27th, 2012, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Touch The Clouds View Post
I don't mind swallowing my pride and admitting my flaws, weaknesses and that I help but only if the other person is willing to do the same with me. Any thoughts?
When the student is ready, the teacher arrives. Maybe you have something to teach him. I say go for it - you can handle him.
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Old May 27th, 2012, 04:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Touch The Clouds View Post
I don't mind swallowing my pride and admitting my flaws, weaknesses and that I help but only if the other person is willing to do the same with me. Any thoughts?
Sounds like a boundary.

How do you plan to express this boundary to your friend?

How do you plan to catch and handle his small integrity tests afterward, to see if you're just spouting rhetoric or if you're for real?

Boyd
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  #9  
Old May 27th, 2012, 07:03 PM
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I don't know you or the guy, but I just wanna put this out there.

There is such a thing as spiritual ego. Yes you don't need things to be happy but at the same time there is nothing wrong with things. The problem with things is the attachment to them, but attachment isn't reserved for just things. You can also have attachment to ideas and belief systems such as feeling superior to someone because they "need" (read happen to have) nice things. Is it possible that you are carrying around some such attitudes and are possibly projecting them out unconsciously and he can tell, and that is why he is reacting defensively? Once again, I don't know you or the guy, just something to consider.
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Last edited by watcezfas; May 27th, 2012 at 11:17 PM..
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Old May 27th, 2012, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Touch The Clouds View Post
I forgot you're the big man with all the nice stuff I know nothing about life I'm just some hippy dippy creative type
Whenever I've been around someone who makes statements like this, it usually turns out HE is the one with the problem.

Maybe that's you, maybe it's not. I would, however, leave that attitude at the door if you ask this guy for his guidance.
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Old May 27th, 2012, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pottymouth View Post
Whenever I've been around someone who makes statements like this, it usually turns out HE is the one with the problem.

Maybe that's you, maybe it's not. I would, however, leave that attitude at the door if you ask this guy for his guidance.
Thanks pottymouth, I had the same feeling when I read it.
__________________
Don't take the bait.

Find your self respect, if you do not respect yourself
why would anybody else respect you?

unlike fine wine unresolved problems do not get better with age

A wife or girlfriend like a husband or boyfriend can
be changed or replaced your children are yours for
life don't forget them in your recovery
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