|
|
#1
April 28th, 2006, 10:21 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The Keys to Success
About five years ago I was walking in the park and got to pondering the difference between people who struggle to make their lives work and those who seem to have more functional, successful lives. At the time, I considered my life to most resemble the first category of people.
In analyzing this question, I asked myself, “what are the common characteristics of people (including myself) who seem to consistently struggle too much in life?” By the time I finished my stroll in the park, I had come to the following conclusion: Successful people: Dwell in reality. Make decisions based on reality and take timely actions. Are “good enders.” I concluded that those of who struggle to find the success and happiness we desire often do not dwell in reality, therefore can not make good decisions; often fail to take any kind of timely actions, and stay way too long in bad, unhealthy or nonproductive situations. Since that time I have continued to ponder, study, and perhaps most importantly, try on new ways of thinking and acting. As a result, my original list has grown ten-fold. I now have a list of 30 traits of successful people (and by contrast, the traits that unsuccessful people seem to lack). My definition of success has nothing to do with financial wealth, acclaim, or status. To me, a successful person is someone who consistently lives up to their full potential, lives with integrity in every area of life, and makes a positive difference on the world around them. These people seem to be happy and content (even when everything isn’t going their way). It works out pretty well that my list contains 30 items because I can ponder a different truth about success every day of the month. This helps keep me on track and alerts me when I am falling back into old, unhealthy habits (the old neural goat paths of my brain). Here’s my list. It’s my roadmap for life. Feel free to add or modify and apply it to your own life. Successful people: Dwell in reality. Make decisions based on reality. Act in timely ways. They do it NOW rather than later. Know that inaction tends to make things worse, not better. Finish what they start. Are “good enders.” Learn from past experiences (and tend not to repeat the same mistakes). See all “mistakes” as learning experiences. Are conscious of how present actions effect future outcomes. Consciously replace ineffective habits with effective ones. Visualize success and believe they can achieve it. Become aware of, confront and overcome self-limiting beliefs. Are not judgmental, critical or perfectionistic. Don’t waist time analyzing other people’s motives or actions. Don’t try to change other people. Associate with like-minded people. Surround themselves with people who can help them get what they want. Believe in abundance and are grateful for the many blessings they already have in their lives. Ask for what they want and believe it is OK to get it. Give from the overflow. Keep it simple. Eliminate chaos and clutter. Strive for integrity in all areas of their lives. Understand that the key to any successful endeavor is CONSISTENCY OVER TIME. Have a plan. Are flexible. Don’t try and make it happen, they let it happen. Walk through open doors. Know that “luck” favors the prepared mind. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Dr. Glover 
|
|
#2
April 28th, 2006, 11:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Fundamentally, "functional" and "succesful" people move towards something, not away from another thing. People who who enjoy their life (I don't like to use labels such as "functional" or "dysfunctional"--it's a process, not a state) tend to be the sort who focus on what they want rather than avoid what they don't. > Dwell in reality. As opposed to disconnected fears, anxieties and beliefs. > Make decisions based on reality. Because we are biological creatures on a planet governed by the laws of physics. > Act in timely ways. They do it NOW rather than later. Because we have a limited lifespan, and what we are seeking is a life that pleases us. > Know that inaction tends to make things worse, not better. Because our notion of a "happy life" is one with more good feelings that bad feelings. "If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self." > Finish what they start. Because we've learned that what we want is more important than a temporary sense of discomfort. > Are “good enders.” Because we know that in life, all is change--constantly, and that the only real connection between two moments is our memory > Learn from past experiences (and tend not to repeat the same mistakes). > See all “mistakes” as learning experiences. > Are conscious of how present actions effect future outcomes. > Consciously replace ineffective habits with effective ones. Because we are present, fully living life, and looking forward to even more. > Visualize success and believe they can achieve it. Because life breeds life; we recognize that our mind is our own and that it is the key to our happy destiny. > Become aware of, confront and overcome self-limiting beliefs. Because we love life, and choose to tolerate the occasional moment of discomfort so that we may bask in the rich depth of our life. > Are not judgmental, critical or perfectionistic. > Don’t waist time analyzing other people’s motives or actions. > Don’t try to change other people. Because we remember how things were, and how we have resolved them, and know that we can look forward to more as we ever increase our resourcefullness. We forgive and have compassion for those who haven't learned what we know because we remember how we once were, and can see all people need to find their own path. > Associate with like-minded people. > Surround themselves with people who can help them get what they want. Because others have been were we are, and we are where others could be, and most of all, our mind is attuned to the light that those who are where we could be. We choose to mentor and be mentored because it is the cycle of a healthy and natural life. > Believe in abundance and are grateful for the many blessings they already have in their lives. Because, goddamnit, we know what the pit is like. We can breath, walk, talk, sleep and go to the bathroom unassisted. The foundation of our happiness is based on a clear and realistic understanding of the blessings that we can take for granted. > Ask for what they want and believe it is OK to get it. Because we are ordinary people in a neutral world. "What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." > Keep it simple. > Eliminate chaos and clutter. > Strive for integrity in all areas of their lives. > Understand that the key to any successful endeavor is CONSISTENCY OVER TIME. > Have a plan. > Are flexible. Because we love life, and focus on what works, because this is what leads us to the life we want. > Don’t try and make it happen, they let it happen. > Walk through open doors. Because when we choose to be at peace, we discover that life works best when we collaborate with it, instead of compete with it. Peace engenders peace. Working with nature creates a good life. Jumping off of a cliff while flapping our arms will kill us. > Know that “luck” favors the prepared mind. And the bold... > Feel the fear and do it anyway. Because life is about living and there is no greater indicator of life than excitement. Excellent post Dr. Glover, it's so good to read some hard-core, positive, reality based stuff.
__________________
Strength. Dignity. Honour. Last edited by Mr.Zeph; April 29th, 2006 at 01:28 AM..
|
|
#3
April 29th, 2006, 12:39 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Excellent posts.
Maxwell Maltz in Psycho-Cybernetics describes the picture of Success as: S-ense of Direction U-understanding C-ourage C-harity E-steem S-elf-confidence S-elf acceptance and Failure as F-rustration A-aggressiveness I-nsecurity L-oneliness U-ncertainity R-esentment E-mptiness Also, mega-powerful is gratitude. Last edited by stixx; April 29th, 2006 at 12:54 AM..
|
|
#4
April 29th, 2006, 02:32 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Oh hey, didn't know the Doc posts around here. That's awesome.
And that's a great list.
|
|
#5
April 29th, 2006, 07:09 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
There's a great book out there called "Skills for Success" by Adele Scheele http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/034...Fencoding=UTF8. She points out that she found the following:
1) Success breeds success 2) You have to be in the right place at the right time 3) It's who you know, not what you know From that, she noticed 3 traits that led to success 1) Self Presentation 2) Positioning 3) Connecting And from that, she found 6 career competencies that led to the things above: 1) Experiencing Doing 2) Risking Linking 3) Showing Belonging 4) Exhibiting Specializing 5) Using Catapaulting 6) Magnifying Accomplishments I think I have followed those in life, and it has gone well. I just gave a talk to our graduate school on how I found my job, and recommended this book. Also, many of the self improvement ideas on Dr. Glover's list are encompassed in a book called "The Aladdin Factor", which talks about asking - knowing what to ask for, getting over fears, and then how to ask.
|
|
#6
April 29th, 2006, 11:33 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
DrGlovers' List Is Indeed Very Accomplished
Was Pondering
Yes Though How To Implement These Attributes And Reinforce Them So That They Become An Integrated Permanent Navigation Chart What I've Always Done Is Take An Idea/Thought And Cereate A Mantra Around It And Silently/Constantly Reflect And Repeat It Throughout The Day Something Akin To The Body Is Clothes For The Soul Hence I Will Protect My Soul By Nourishing My Body Without My Body My Soul Is Not Home And Countless Variations The Idea Is To Utilize The Theme In A Myraid Of Thoughts/Ideas/Feelings With The Intent Of Integration To Persona G/Doc As Always Many Thanks For Your Guidance And This Forum U/b003 http://www.soundlift.com/band/music.php?song_id=210768
__________________
 No Matter Where You Go ~ No Matter What You Do ~ There You Are ~ Be The Best You Can Be ~????! -! ???! -! www.vhemt.org !Is Fractal Wisdom Linear ~ Where Are My Eagles ~ The Great Augustus Was Once Purported To Have Invocated ~ in vino veritas~ www.fractalwisdom.com  ((< *;*>)) I Wish You'd Read A Little P etry Sometimes Your Ignorance Cramps My .......................................C nVersAtin
Last edited by ubermacht003; April 29th, 2006 at 11:55 AM..
|
|
#7
May 1st, 2006, 09:23 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Excellent LIST Dr. Glover.
Unfortunately, I have never perceived life to be a "To Do" list. I understand that the commerical imperitives of your identity (and bank) require lists. Have you ever discarded THE LIST mentality and discovered anything? Because, as you know, there is no list.
|
|
#9
May 10th, 2006, 11:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
For example, don't write "I'm shy". Write "When I meet new people, and especially women that I consider attractive, I tense up and become tongue tied. I feel nervous because I want to meet them, but am afraid I will make an ass of myself, and thus be rejected". Make your list as exhaustive as you can. Now, if you haven't gotten drunk by the end of this  sit down and write point for point the new perfect thing that you would like to have in it's place. Take the top three easiest things to change, and change those. Once you have some experience in changing some aspects of yourself, choose some that one that is more pressing than the others and work on it. If you get lost, the people on this board can often help you find your own direction.This is a good place to start.
__________________
Strength. Dignity. Honour.
|
|
#10
May 10th, 2006, 09:46 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#11
May 10th, 2006, 10:51 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
I am also committed to not being afraid of everything (decisions, not getting approval, failure, etc.), which is the essential problem of the Nice Guy. I'm going to trust myself, and practice enjoying life more.
|
|
#12
May 12th, 2006, 06:50 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
buy your mail box is saturated are you in france ?
__________________
Not to Explain or Complain is possibly the best Advice that could be given to Anyone. At the very least do not Supply the Rocks that will be thrown at you "life is the sum of your choices" Albert Camus
|
|
#13
May 12th, 2006, 09:02 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Doc, your original list of 3 is an outstanding blueprint for success in the stock market. The expanded list is great for an overall financial mindset.
And, thank you for the book and forums. You saved my life and probably my marriage..
__________________
______________________ The purpose of life is not to find oneself, but to create oneself. Make the world yours! What would Jefferson do? What would the Bull Moose do? What would John Moses Browning do? Μολὼν Λαβέ
|
|
#14
May 18th, 2006, 09:40 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
This is a great list. I'll try to implement it in my teaching. Some advice. How can one be both consistent and flexible? I'm an idea man and often get caught up in the idea rather than the implementation. Advice on that hurdle would be great. Thanks Doc.
__________________
"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive." Robert A. Heinlein
|
|
#15
May 24th, 2006, 10:53 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Mr. Zeph, I am kind of in the same situation as Reke. I am new to this On Line Support Group. Thank you for your suggestions. I will also start a list. Thanks agian for your help
|
 |
| Tags |
| drglover, successful people |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
